10 Reasons why I’m studying Medicine:
1) Because changing course causes a lot of turbulence with mum, and it negatively impacts her emotions. The counsellor was right, as much as I hate to succumb to societal norms, in the end we are Asians and we don’t 100.00% truly live for ourselves, because we shoulder our family’s pain as our own.
2) Because changing course means indirectly taking dad’s money for granted. I have worked for the scholarship to lessen his burden, not to induce more pain on him.
3) Because I can be a good psychiatrist in the future, a “delayed dream” from my childhood instead of being a psychologist, to help people who are suffering from mental health issues, for the children who have no one to talk to, for people from complicated upbringings, for people who think they don’t deserve to be loved.
4) Because I can put my scholarship to its best use.
5) Because the course is challenging enough to keep me busy and to want more, it’s not like I have other important commitments at hand.
6) Because it is flexible enough for me to do other things that I enjoy like social work, painting, listening to music, playing the piano when I’m free.
7) Because being a doctor means, by healing I contribute peace to the world. It is a profession that grounds/ anchors me to what I think is important in life, without the frustrating need to package my words like a businessman who only wants to TAKE “something” from “someone”. To be able to do good by giving, giving and giving without needing to ever, EVER second guess my ulterior motives, because there are NONE to begin with. End of story. (By the way, I need to find a way to stop second guessing myself.)
8) Because studying in Medicine IS cool! Hey, how else would you know what is happening inside your OWN body!? How else would you know that the yoga instructor was bullshitting his way through? Also, having knowledge and being informed is in line with your desire to seek the Truth.
9) Because IMU is a great place to study at, with people from different courses interestingly bringing in different perspectives; with good curry, PB&choc waffles and chicken salad; with good resources; with free Squash sessions; with Group 6 seniors and juniors; with AY CN living together with me just one road across the uni which is SO convenient; with CN’s weirdly hilarious yet loving presence; with YK and R’s underrated kind souls...
10) Because the Yuan Hui I know is never a quitter. When the going gets hard, she sees challenges as opportunities to better herself; she believes she can achieve anything, anything at all if that is what she wants, but now, she understands that the constant “want” to achieve is euphoric only in the short-term, and as much as it strokes her ego, it is highly addictive, making her unsatisfied with the eggs already in her basket and will BLIND her from what truly matters----to have a heart big enough for herself and the people around her. So, she should be in Medicine doing her ultimate best in things that truly matter to her instead of achieving "big things" for the sake of achieving.
No comments:
Post a Comment